When you talk about studying abroad, there are a million things that run through your mind. Positive things. Like all the places you will go, all the friends you will make, and all the amazing things that you will see. What you don't think about, is what you don't want to think about.
This is what I mean.
So after my short layover in Philly, I was in Amsterdam. I couldn't believe it. There were windmills in the ocean, clear blue water, the whole country seems to be green, flat, and full of life. After I got off the plane, I had to deal with just about everything written in Dutch. Because an American girl like me can get around like that!
When I got my bags, I forgot how heavy they were, and what a pain in the ass to carry around! But I managed to buy a train ticket to Breda, and get on the train. After the hour train ride, I met my Dutch friend Eline at the station, where we took the bus to her apartment. Turns out she lives just a short walk from where I will be living!
Okay, so now I am here. But I am sweaty, I smell, I feel gross, and I am beyond exhausted. So the first thing I did was shower! That's the problem with traveling so much like that. You get off and set your bags down, and realize that you are feeling and looking like a bum.
But that's not it. Eline and I walked around the city centre and she showed me around. It is beautiful! Even after walking around, I swear it doesn't feel like I am in Europe. So, many chills and foot blisters later, we got back to her place. And this is where I am having trouble.
Of course everyone knew that I was in Breda, because I told them, but the more we talked, the harder it is to hold back my tears. I have the greatest urge to cry. When Alex told me that he was going back to Flagstaff, it really made me miss home! And then i'm talking with dad and mom and Tyler (my little brother), and I can't forget Katelyn (childhood friend).
These are the things I don't want to think about too much. I think it is because I am so far away, and things are different, that I get so emotional. Like, it makes me think of how I miss them already.
Right now, I don't feel good, I feel like I want to break out in tears, and I feel out of place. Don't get me wrong, I am excited to be here, but it is weird. Like Eline has been so kind to let me stay with her, but I just feel weird.
I keep telling myself that I will feel better when I meet everyone else for NHTV orientation on 2 Feb. I just hope that's the case. Because I am missing home, and I need to get my mind on something else.
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