Gotta Keep Your Head Up

"End your search and begin your journey". Those are the words of wisdom that I try to live by. Also, the words written on my back in black ink. I may forget that the words are there, and a lot of the times I do, but when I remember that they are, I remember they are there for a reason.

Since I have been here, I have gone through a lot it seems like. And, it has only been like two weeks. But you know what, in that two weeks, I have hit my low, and I have swung past it. Unfortunately, I am falling back into that low again. And trust me, I wish I wasn't. Studying abroad really isn't easy! One day, you can be as chipper as a spring chicken, and then the next you hear some country song that reminds you of home, or a time back at home, or even a significant other. I guess I really should have paid more attention to the pre-departure meeting talking about how when you leave you pretty much will get PTSD.

I know all my posts seem to be sad and depressing, and I don't mean it at all. I think I am waiting for the moment to hit me and stay with me. Not only that, but I am waiting to meet that one friend that I can travel with. I just keep thinking about how awesome it will be to travel and see Europe. The only thing that has been putting me down about that though, is money.

Everything seems to be so freakin expensive here! I mean, it doesn't help that the dollar to euro conversion sucks, but you spend so much money so quickly! When I was at NAU still, I had my jack's card that I got my food with. Here, you have to use real money from a real bank account, and go to the market every few days. These are the times I miss having Alex make those Wendy's runs for me.

When I was talking with my mom, she was telling me that just because something is different, doesn't mean it's bad. And I agree with her. But things are different, and i'm not one to really like different. It is funny because talking with my dad today, he was telling me these words exact, "Damn...if I could leave for 6 months...i'm gone".  I think it is pretty funny actually.

But you know what, I got myself into this so called "mess". I signed up for this. Hell, I am so glad I didn't sign up for the military! If I am having trouble being away for this long, I would never make it going years. But since I got myself into this, I need to finish it.

So, in the words that are written on my back in black ink, one of these days, I will end my search, and begin my journey. Only time will tell.