Knowing that someone else understands

Ugh. Another real rough night. I talked to my mom on Skype and was a total mess. Tried convincing her to let me come home, but I am pretty sure she wouldn't budge. It actually makes me sad that I am making mom and dad mad about all of this. Sometimes it makes you feel like your not good enough, and it puts you down. I don't know. Anyways, this morning I had to wake up early to get ready for a job interview. I felt like I was dealing with jet lag again. I don't really know why either. I didn't cry though!! So I have accomplished something! I stayed strong, and pushed through it. 

When I looked out the window with expectations that the sun was out, I was wrong. There was snow all over the ground and clouds filled the sky. But I had to brace the cold anyways.

I took a different way to school. And this way was better! A lot closer, and not a bad walk. I just put in my music, and walked to school. When I got here, I had some time to spare, so I went to find the Compass office for my interview. I got there, and I did what was probably the WORST interview of all times. The two guys in charge didn't seem impressed, and when they asked where I was from, again another snarky dutch remark. I don't get it! Why don't the dutch like Americans?! All the dutch students that came to NAU liked us! Actually makes me laugh. 

Well, the interview went by really quick, and I am not so sure if I will get it because they were off about it. But after, I didn't really want to walk all the way back to my place since I was here for just a short period of time. So I grabbed an over priced coffee and croissant and sat down.

While I was sitting, people would come and go and sit at the same table as me. I would try and be friendly, but they would do their own thing. And then as I was sitting here on my computer, I saw one of the international students from Orientation. We waved and she came to talk with me. I got a little happy inside knowing I can talk with someone.

Turns out, she hates her classes as well, and can't seem to find any friends. She is originally from Vietnam, but studies in Finland. Pretty neat. But it was kind of comforting to know that someone else is kind of feeling the way I am. The only difference, she is used to being away.

So today, I am really trying to make myself feel a bit better, and not so sad. I was able to not let myself really cry yet, which is think is a step forward. 

Right now, if you were to ask me if I want to go home, I would say that I am not sure. Im actually enjoying myself here at school. Just people watching with a nice coffee. It's not so bad. But the second I have to leave and go back to my apartment, I might say I want to leave.  I think that if I have no choice of leaving, and have to stay, I need to stay busy. I need to keep myself occupied. And really need friends. But Vu (the Vietnamese girl I met) says that finding friends is really hard to. So I guess all I can do is just sit here, and hope for the best.

Not going to lie, wish I had a friend from home with me.